Skip to content

Category Archives: Jamesisms

James envies my student status and the ability to stay at home two days a week.

James:  Do you want to come to work with me and hide under my desk so I can pet you?
Elaine: What?  I’m not your pet.
James:  Well… we could snuggle in the closet then.

How James’ Day Went

I thought “What did you do today?” was a fairly straightforward question, but (as best as I can remember it) this was the answer I got, delivered pretty much in one breath:
Well, first I went to the magic island where I found a unicorn. And the unicorn picked me up and took me to [...]

James, handing me a drink:

“I mixed it so that it’s neither shaken nor stirred.”
“So… not mixed at all?”
“Right.  I think not mixing is a form of mixing isn’t it?”

"I wonder…

… if two glaciers flew past each other at high speed, would they generate enough friction to boil water?”

grocery store outrage!

At the grocery store last night James felt nostalgic for a box of his childhood cereal… after a bit of “ugh, that’s so gross!” and “well you just think that because your mom was a cereal nazi!” exchange I said fine, put it in the cart.
This morning I was looking over the receipt (I enter [...]

sleepy boy

When I finally dragged James out of bed this morning (it takes several attempts) he slouched over to the computer and googled “my girlfriend wakes up too early.”
I phoned up Dalhousie to see about applying there and I think I will not. They don’t really have anything to do with linguistics at all, and [...]

He's getting more demanding

James is making tater tots, and I peeked into the oven to see. They’re all standing up on their ends. I might be crazy but I thought that was the cutest thing ever, so I gave him a hug and said “awww you stood them all up on end!” He couldn’t understand [...]

sleepover at James' house

I came over to James’ house for a sleepover tonight, and he was in the middle of doing some stuff in the kitchen.
“I was going to make a beaverage,” he said.
“A beaverage? Like a hermitage but for beavers?”
“Yeah.”
“Where were you gonna get the beavers?”
“…. uh.. from the fridge.”
“Honey, beavers come from ponds, not fridges.”
“No, [...]

This one's a winner

Last night, walking to the bubble tea shop: “I think you’ll be really wrinkly when you’re old.”

Which fruit are you?

Yesterday James and I were driving to Value Village after work to find a Halloween costume for him, and as I often do, I reached over and patted his leg. I was about to say that he was nice and soft, but then I said, “wait a minute, you’re not soft at all. [...]