The thing about James and I is that when we’re alone, we have our own little dialect. For example, all verbs are treated as regular when it comes to the past tense:
James: I drinked a bit. teehee!
Or, if it just doesn’t sound RIGHT, then the correct past tense form can have the -ed added:
Elaine: Did you bike today?
James: No, I droved.
Also, plurals can be used when it’s not really plural:
James: Did you bring lunches today?
But the cutest thing is the be + noun phenomenon. In this version of English, a simple sentence using any form of the verb ‘to be’ is followed by a noun, not an adjective or a verb. Examples:
James: I am sleep.
Or, after doing a somersault or two, “I am loop!”
Or at the breakfast table:
Elaine: This smoothie is good.
James: Yeah, it’s taste.
You may notice that I used ‘good’ - an adjective. This is the exception where using this word as a noun would require ADDING a suffix (-ness). Our theory only works when nominalizing removes a suffix (-y, -ing). This results in some extra occasional curiosities. For example:
James: Aww Elaine… you’re prett. [I laughed pretty hard at this one]
We laughed extra hard at Borat when he was standing in line to meet Pamela Anderson, saying, “I’m excite!” because we already say this. Anyway, I hope this serves to rub a tiny hole from the foggy window through which you, the reader, view our strange and wonderful world.
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