Bizonkulous

Dear Mr. Horton:

I am writing this letter to lodge a very serious grievance against you. I feel that you and I have a long and storied history - Dorm Timbit-till-you-pop nights, coffee runs on those very cold mornings at the beginning of the baseball season, midnight muffins with the boyfriend - and so on.

However, I fear that it may all come to an end soon. Why you ask? TEA. First, your “steeped tea” commercials are insane. And stupid. Nevertheless, I stopped by my local Tim’s to get some tea today, since I was cold and didn’t feel like coffee.

“Hi, I’ll have a tea please.”
“Steeped tea?” We must here address the issue of your employees’ inability to recognize rhetoric.
“Is there any other way to make it?” I asked. He hedged, thinking that for some reason I didn’t want steeped tea.
“Well, the way we make it is…”
“No no no… I meant, steeping is the ONLY way to make tea.” He laughed nervously and went to pour me some tea.

I glanced at the big menu on the wall above the counter and noticed something new. The different sizes of tea are different prices now! Aha! Instead of selling me a teabag and giving me some hot water, you can now have pre-steeped tea and charge me more! Very clever.

And in the end, the tea was shit. That, my dear Mr. Horton, left a very bad taste in my mouth, figuratively as well. I expected better from a respected Canadian tradition.

Yours truly,

Elaine Christian.